Lessons in Advance?

I've never been one of those people who would always wonder what it'd be like to be able to "Time Travel", but after listening and reading the lyrics of the song "Ooh La La," by the Faces, it made me wonder if life would have been easier if I knew the things I know now. I wondered if I would I be better off if I knew all of my life's lessons in advance so I didn't have to learn them the hard way. Would knowing the outcome of certain situations help make my life better? Or would fixing them make it worse?

Well I don't know and, obviously, never will. But if I was able to travel back in time and inform my younger self about the outcomes of his current situation; well, it'd go a little like this:

Age 3 (1991)» "Hey, don't be doing that! You body can't swallow food, like that mint, when you're upside down. You're gonna choke!
Age 3 (1991)» "Ok, stop freaking out. Yeah, your finger is caught in the fridge door. It's no big deal, all you need to do is reopen the door!"
Age 4 (1992)» "Rubbing your eye to get the sand out of it isn't the best idea. That is unless you want to wear an eye patch for the next couple weeks."
Age 6 (1994)» "Um yeah, lets not play tug of war on the doors. Your finger might get jammed in it. Actually, I'm 100% sure that it will."
Age 8 (1996)» "I like your thinking. A race down the Highschool's hallways to prove to Alex and Allan that it's faster way home will definitely prove you right! But you might want to keep your eyes ahead of you because getting stitches on your forehead is gonna be a pain in the ass."
Age 9 (1997)» "Ok, ok, calm down! Your front teeth will be fine! They'll just remold the chipped parts and you'll look good as new. Oh and prepare yourself for your wisdom teeth because taking those out are going to be ridiculously annoying."
Age 10 (1998)» "Hey! Guess what! Fighting and drinking alcohol might make you seem like a bad ass, but you're not going to get anywhere by doing it. Go study, "bad ass".
Age 12 (2000)» "That little bastard's pissed at you and is gonna try to stab you with a pencil, DODGE IT; then fight him. Don't worry, afterward everyone's going to take your side and he'll end up become the school's outcast."
Age 13 (2001)» "Welcome to 8th grade. On your first day of school you're going to meet a girl that you'll dislike, but she's going to play a big part in your life. I never really befriended her, but she's going to be around for a while. Prepare yourself."
Age 14 (2002)» "Don't date that Kayla girl. She's two faced and will talk shit about you behind your back, so don't waste your time."
Age 14 (2002)» "I don't care how sick of Cypress Grove you are. Stay there because Independent Study is worse."
Age 15 (2003)» "Cool Seaside Highschool. Again don't go in to Independent Study. You will hate it and miss out on a lot social aspects."
Age 16 (2004)» "You know that girl you met in 8th grade? You have a choice of whether you want to to date her for the next year. You two will argue, she's going to hate your friends and they already hate her. The first 3 or 4 months together with her, you're going to feel on top of the world, but the next 8 or 9 months after that is going to be a massive hassle and you'll be annoyed constantly. But if you do decide to be with her, you'll end up saving her life time and time again. Even now I'm not sure if its worth it ......... Good Luck!"
Age 18 (2006)» "I don't care how tired and sore you are and I really don't care how much you hate it. Don't quit and stay employed at UPS. You'll be thankful for it later."
Age 18 (2006)» "Blizzard made a new game? Really?! Don't buy it, don't play it. Don't even think about it. That new Blizzard game is non-existent to you, got it?"
Age 19 (2007)» "Yeah I agree with you, Don doesn't know shit on how to manage a business, but don't quit for Old Navy. They'll treat you like shit and you'd better off being bored at Totes."
Age 20 (2008)» "Oh wow, she's pretty! Have your fun, but don't get attached because she's not going to be attached to you at all. She's flirty, materialistic, and she's gotta bigger ego then she lets on. Listen to me now so you don't fall for this girl's bullshit twice. You're Welcome."
Age 21 (2009)» "Psh; I don't care if we're currently the same age! I'm practically 22, so shut up. Yeah I know exactly what you're thinking, most gorgeous girl you've ever seen, right? Just like the girl you met in '08, she's a flirt too. Have your fun and flirt back, maybe learn a few things socially, then move on."

Of course learning life's lessons the hard way will always have a bigger effect on you than just having some one tell them to you. But I have to wonder if a future me came back in time to tell me all this- Would I take his advice? Or would I be more shocked about how I will still have the same baby face at age 21?